Return to the Riverbank

Dear friends,

Toad was bored. For want of petrol, his shiny new car languished in the garage, its bright red paint spotted with dust from the beams above. In his morning room at Toad Hall, Toad looked at his paper, then threw it down in disgust. “Why am I not in the news?” he cried. “I’ve been in prison, and escaped. I’ve gone all over the country, doing….” here, he paused, unsure of his phrase, “…..all sorts of things….I should be on the front pages!” He glared at the photo of his grandparents on the mantelpiece. His grandfather, the august and respectable Nehemiah Toad, had made a fortune and had been an Alderman, complete with a chain of office. The constellation of Respectability had never featured however in the stars above his grandson’s head, either by design or aspiration. Toad looked again at the photo. It gave him an idea. Somewhere in the rambling attics above the servants wing was, he remembered, his grandfather’s chest.

“What ho, Ratty!” cried Toad from his boat, later that day, as he spied his long suffering friend at work on some minor repairs to his riverbank dwelling. “Come out and join me!” he gestured. “I’ve got a picnic, and some bunting!”

Ratty looked up, warily. What was Toad up to now? He’d better go and see. They were still counting the costs of the canary coloured cart. He swam over and scrambled aboard Toad’s rather grand cruiser. “Hello, Toad,” he said. “What on earth are you wearing?” For Toad had divested himself of his usual bright yellow check jacket and orange tweed waistcoat, and had donned a thick black gown, far too large for himself, which swept almost to the deck. “You look very…..serious,” Ratty was at a loss for words. “Ah but you haven’t see the best bit,” Toad beamed. “What do you think of this?” And with a flourish, he removed from the picnic basket a very large gold chain, which he proceeded to fix around his neck and across his ample frontage. “It’s my chain of office!” he cried triumphantly. “I’ve decided to become a politician!” he boomed loudly across the rippling water. “I shall make speeches, and travel the world, and make important decisions, and…make more speeches, and have bunting and be in the papers,” he continued, excitedly. Ratty tried to keep a straight face. Among the dwellers of the riverbank, Toad could be relied upon to make waves, whatever he did or didn’t do.

“But, Toad, old chap,” he began, kindly. “You can’t wear that,” he said, pointing to the gleaming chain. “Its a chain of office. And you don’t have one. An office, I mean,” he added, as gently as he could. “Of course I have an office, Ratty,” said Toad impatiently. “You’ve been in it. Its the room across from the drawing room in Toad Hall. You’re the one who doesn’t have an office,” he went on, not a little uncharitably. Ratty however was accustomed to Toad’s manner, and occasional shortness. “Toad, my good fellow,” he said, as carefully as he could. “An office can also refer to a job or a position as well as the place where your keep your golf clubs. That’s what the chain means. It means the wearer has a special job to do.” Ratty thought carefully, and saw a way through. “Do you have a job, Toad?” he asked.

Toad bristled. “A job?” he said indignantly. “Why would I have one of those? I’ve never had a job in my life! Why on earth would I have a job?” Ratty shrugged. “No, you’ haven’t have you? That chain went with your grandfather’s position – his job – and, as you don’t have a position, you shouldn’t wear it.” Toad looked crestfallen, defeated by the logic of his long suffering friend. “So, I can’t be a politician, then? Must I have a job first?” he said. Ratty thought, and then, said, with no little shrewdness, “We can each of us do many things, Toad, but there are some choices in life which are wiser than others. Your place is perhaps better here with us on the riverbank.”

Toad thought a little more, harumphed a little, and sadly took off the heavy chain and black gown. “Are you sure I can’t? I quite like the idea of making speeches, and travelling in planes, and making more speeches, and being in the newspapers. I could  make lots of laws, and extend Toad Hall, perhaps start the odd war and….” he tailed off, seeing Ratty shake his head more and more vigorously. Distraction was needed. “Come on, Toadie,” Ratty said affectionately. “You’ve brought a lovely picnic. Lets go and see Mole. Its his birthday next month. We could say we’ve come early. And there’s all that bunting, which we could put around his living room. Let’s go and surprise him.”

Toad pulled out his orange tweed waistcoat and slipped it on. “I don’t suppose I could make a birthday speech for Mole, then? Not even a little one? It wouldn’t be very long, I promise,” he said, as they turned the boat around. “Perhaps just the one toast,” said Ratty, wondering, not for the first time, what global disasters had narrowly been avoided.                                                                                          (KGD, with apologies to KG)

Worship Services for Sunday 18th October 2026

9.30am Informal Worship at St John’s Stoke Row with Mr Peter Ferguson

11am Family crafting service at St Peter and Paul, Checkendon with Canon Kevin Davies. Come help us create our poppy memorial for Remembrance!

Midweek zoom service: Wednesday Evensong at 5.00pm  410 935 129

Please do join us on Sunday for our worship at Checkendon as we are beginning to tie on the many hundreds of hand knitted poppies that have been created this year by our Poppy Project. We are going to be creating an installation for display at the Remembrance Sunday Service. Please note that no special skills are required – just as many hands as possible to tie the poppies to their support. Everyone is welcome, whatever your age.

Stoke Row PCC are meeting tomorrow in St John’s Church at 7.30pm. Your church council is responsible for the “fabric and finance” aspect of your church’s life, sharing with the minister decisions about worship and mission. We also share together in the responsibility that each church has for safeguarding, whether that is in relation to children and young people, or vulnerable adults and elderly people. Please pray for all the parochial church councils across the Langtree Team Ministry area – all volunteers, who give freely of their time and experience to ensure that our churches thrive. Thank you to everyone!

Your Rector, Canon Kevin.